Group Journal

The following entries are from the group journal kept during our time in Haiti.

March 10, 2014
Eesha Bhave 

Today has been our 3rd day in Haiti, but it certainly feels like I have been here much longer than that. Haiti to me seems a nuanced mix of simplicity of lifestyle and complexity in structure – of education, healthcare, gender equity and income inequality. When we visited Carla and her friends in Gwo Jan, I thought to myself, this is not a bad lifestyle to live – in the forest, surrounded by a loving community, and just having a simple way of living and loving and being happy. Only when I started conversing with the people did I begin to fathom this simple lifestyle. Without a lot of money, and a poor education system, I can imagine myself living a “simple lifestyle” too. This hit me even harder after talking with some of the students at the University of Fondwa (UNIF). One of their main question to us was “how can you help us” – maybe this was posed because they have been seeing AU students visit Haiti with no definitive change in their everyday world for the past 3 years now.

This question, and the reflection that followed after has been nagging at me since we read the article “ To Hell with Good Intentions.” What right do we have to be in Haiti and learn about the Haitian culture if we can’t make the promise that we can make the significant steps to reconciliation for all the mistakes we have made in the past? I think this is a question I will continue to struggle with as we make our way through the activities for the next 6 days. I can’t say that I will find the answer to this ever, because the root of this problem comes from understanding and accepting my own privilege. It is something I can only strive to do, especially as Haiti and the Haitians have shown me so quickly.  Here’s to the next few days and great learning experiences in the loud, chaotic, hopeful, vivacious community I have been able to spend time with in Ayiti!

P.S. My group/ leaders/ Shoshanna are awesome and I’m thankful for them!





March 11, 2014
Anjali Mehta 
           
            If I thought yesterday was an incredible day of discussion and introspection about what our roles as an alternative break should be … today was even more so another day of deep reflection for the entire group. We visited APF’s center, as well as APF’s nursery, animal clinic, and school, and met with APF’s community organizers and a woman’s group that works towards equality of men and women through education. So a busy day to say the least.
            Though I think we all learnt a lot about APF’s projects, the community of Fondwa, and the future goals of community organizers in Fondwa, I think we again really struggled with the concept of WHAT WE ACTUALLY DO that people here, in Haiti where it matters, can see. But I do not think that is our entire goal – though part of our goal in my opinion is to work toward facilitating the people in Fondwa’s projects in whatever ways we can through channels such as APF, the other part of our goal is to assist APF through advocacy and awareness back in the States, So to me, our mission is two-fold. But at the moment, we are focusing our entire energy on what we’re going to do back in the States. And what about this continual question – how can you help us? I think in focusing year after year on the “back in the States” aspect of this alternative break, we ignore the fact that the people in Fondwa do not see the change that results in our work in the States. So to them… what is the point of us coming at all?
            I think this is a challenge we face, but I think is also one that has a solution. And to me, that solution is not only create a relationship with APF through which we can fundraise to help with financial resources but also create a LONG TERM project/partnership in which enables knowledge exchange between Haiti and the US in the form of teachers and students, or working with APF to deliver the resources and/ or training involved in a project that APF has requested – like electricity/ solar panels for the animal clinic, for example.
            Though this exchanges and resource assistance still would not really change the underlying issue of systematic inequality, they would go a long way in BEGINNING to facilitate a relationship in solidarity between AU and the people of Fondwa that could continue to address over time the underlying and yet ever-present issue of inequality.
            With though reflections, I go to bed feeling VERY positive about the learning that is taking place and I can FEEL that we are going to make something happen. It’s honestly because of this group, our leaders, and Shoshanna that we are even able to delve into this really challenging issue at all!
            (This positivity may also come from the impromptu Haitian dance party that just took place in the main classroom of UNIF with the many members of Fondwa’s community…)
            I cannot wait for the res of this trip and hope that as a group we are continually challenged and that we can continue to have an honest dialogue with the people in Haiti. As Na Sonje’s play ended: “What can I do…? What can I do…? What can I do…? WHAT CAN WE DO?”




March 12, 2014
Elyse Collat 

Today was another full day in Ayiti but it took a different form since we spent the day at a nearby beach town called Jacmel. After 4 long, challenging, wonderful, rollercoaster days, a beach day helped us relax, see more of Haiti, and contrast/reflect on our trip so far. As you may notice from previous entries we’ve been battling with the issue of “what can we do” and trying to make sure we aren’t “slum-touring” – pilling into the car this morning with Yaya (our translator and UNIF friends gave us a change to interact with them in a different setting (a beautiful one!) I felt more relaxed because we were paying and enjoying Haiti and actually contributing to the tourism economy. I noticed I felt more comfortable in the tourist setting which just goes to show you how much I’ve learned and experienced over the last 2 months of prep and this trip. It’s interesting to think we might be contributing more positively to Ayiti’s development by lying on the beach than by visiting local schools and organizations. On that note, I am extremely excited to visit Fonkoze tomorrow because I think it will tie together the strong gender focus of the group and my love and belief in the power of microfinance. Cannot wait!
P.S. Our group is made up (and led) by such strong, talented, and intelligent women. I am blown away and appreciate this opportunity to grow and learn from everyone. I know I might not have gotten the opportunity to bond with these insanely special people outside of this trip. THANK YOU!!! “Be kind to one another”





March 13, 2014
Molly Morabito 

Today was a journey between two sides of Haiti. We started the morning at UNIF, where we said goodbye to our friends at the university. It was a strange feeling to say goodbye with the knowledge that some of us might never see each other again. But it was also filled with a promise that some of us would. Descending from the mountains of Fondwa I was once again struck by the immense beauty of this country. One of our group members put it best, I think, during reflection the other night: Haiti has a kind of beauty that no amount of wealth or privilege can buy. The same beauty applies to the people here too. The Haitians we’ve met and seen are talented artists, keen business- people, remarkably hard workers and intelligent, intuitive students. We have been welcomed into their homes and lives in a way that would hard to find back home. We met a man today when we stopped for lunch in Port-au-Prince who asked a question that allowed me to succinctly sum up everything I’ve been feeling since arriving here. A native New Yorker born to Haitian parents, he was in town to visit his father who had returned and moved back to Haiti to live in a giant mansion – an interesting first look at the disparity of wealth that exist in this country as well as ours. The man wanted to know what we thought of the country so far. “ Are you impressed or depressed?” he asked. To me, the answer came without me thinking: “Both.”
            Everywhere we’ve been, I’ve seen wonderful things. Tight-knit and loving communities, bright young people with admirable goals, and natural scenery out of a painting or postcard. Haiti has so much potential. I’m impressed by the strength and ingenuity of its people at the same time my heart aches for their hardships.
            Because at the same time, he signs of poverty of this country seem so inundated and far reaching they seem impossible to solve. I question how even I, as a westerner, can and should do, or what my role is perceived as being here.
            At the same time, I’m inspired by the grassroots movements shown by APF and Fonkoze, whom we met with tonight for the first time. I believe they are doing good things for Haiti and that theirs is the type of effort that will make the most difference here.
            Right now, I am finishing this entry in a chair by a pool, located in the beautiful courtyard of a luxurious hotel. It’s a far cry from where I woke up this morning, inside of a shipping crate in the rural town of Fondwa. The sharp contrast is so perfectly indicative of the dichotomies and nuances of this country – the beautiful and the ugly; the inspiring resilience of the people and the crushing oppression of engrained systems; up and coming industries and crippling poverty.
            I am both impressed and depressed by this country. And I am also hopeful for it.

P.S. to continue the trend, I am so thrilled and honored to be a part of such a wonderful group of people who are clearly equally moved and inspired by what we’ve seen here. I can’t wait to see what we do to continue our efforts in Haiti when we return to AU. (I hope it’s really good.)





March 13, 2014
Xholina Nano 

Haiti is a place like no other. After reading, “The Big Truck that Went By” by Jonathon Katz I came into Haiti expecting a lot of things, but the truth has overwhelmed me. In his book, Katz said that all people that visit Haiti come at a crossroads. I wasn’t sure what he meant by that then, but now at day 6 my vision is clearing a bit more to reveal a starling question. What is my purpose here and how can I make a difference in the lives of those I meet? As with several other entries in the last few days, the group has to come to evaluate our roles more critically how can we all benefit from the relationships we are setting out to create?
“Bel Bonjou se paspò ou.”
A beautiful hello is your passport

            This is one of the Haitian proverbs Yaya from Na Sonje taught us, actually it was the first. It was important to recognize that we are visitors to a foreign country an that we would have to show respect to the native people by greeting them first by saying Bonjou and smiling. This at the time seemed the just thing to do and that it would not be that difficult. I like to meet new people and am taught to be respectful to all so saying this greeting didn’t seem challenging. Being at Na Sonje was a great experience and they were used to having visitors stay with Carla, but heading out to the market in Fondwa or driving through Port-au-Prince where people are so close to the van you can almost hear them breath it became more difficult. These eyes were not as used to seeing foreigners and I felt more hesitant to draw attention. A sense of guilt overcame me. I was learning more about Haiti’s history and America’s exploitation of the country. By the time we made it to the beach in Jacmel I had seen enough USAID tarps and NGO buildings, but little improvement. Though I have traveled abroad before I had never known what it felt like to be the minority in a country, a minority that was known for exploiting the country. I felt guilty, the sight of my white skin made me feel uncomfortable. I was beginning to question how I could make a difference. My day was brightened when a couple of young boys invited me to play soccer with them. They had approached me first. This was a good feeling or me since it gave me the opportunity to just be one of them.
            Though my white American identity is something I cannot change, and instead of being ashamed I need to work towards solutions. Yes I might not have the same features as them or share their burdens, but organizations such as Fonkoze is doing great things to get women out of extreme poverty and enhancing their work skills. Progress is out there. Now to see successful profess is vital to Haiti and that can only be done through grassroots movements that empower the community members.
            During our pre-dinner reflection today we read a passage from the introduction of the book Fault Lines. The book notes that one man’s crisis can be another man’s profit elaborating on the concept of disaster capitalism. Personally I would take it one step further and argue that international organizations make money out of keeping a country poor. Recently I have even found that stating the people of Haiti are poor (or some of them) is not the way we should be categorizing a group of people. When one describes Haiti it is better to look within the heart of its people. Though their circumstances might be poor, their hearts are gold and their spirituality is uplifting. This part right here makes it difficult to describe Haiti to my friends back home. There is just no way I can put into words the dignity of the people here and their resilience. Friends are not just friends, and I am a daughter of Haiti.
            In my heart forever and always, Ayiti.

P.S. Thank you all for the most meaningful experience of my life so far. I think each evening during reflections we learn more about each other and social justice issues. I am beginning to view the world from new eyes and its refreshing, but challenging.






March 14, 2014
Jackie Moran 

Although my time in Haiti has been a good one, until today I was having difficulty connecting our actions on the ground with our trip’s social justice issues. With the theme of “ Microfinance, Healthcare, and Women as Agents of Development,” I felt today was the first day that all (or most of) our activities were directly related to these issue areas.
            We started our day visiting CLM client with Fonkoze. Fonkoze is a microfinance institution working in Haiti to alleviate extreme poverty. As one of our community partners, Fonkoze allows us to join them on their client visits, after they provide us an overview of the organization and its mission. Of Fonkoze’s 4-Step ladder, we were only able to visit the first and last steps – CLM and Business Development. Each CLM client has a case manager who meets once a week with each of its 50 clients. The CLM program is over the course of 18 months. Of the five women we met, two had just begun the program (approximately 2 months) and the other three women were at the middle of the program (approximately 9 months).
            It was so fascinating to see the differences between these two groups of women. The women further along in the program had already rebuilt their homes to larger, more stable structures. Additionally, they had their water purification in place, their latrines were made, and their assets were flourishing. Even the women that just started the program, you could tell they ewe confident and excited to begin the process.
            It was clear the impact Fonkoze had, and continues to have, on their life is huge. I final felt like I was able to see a tangible outcome. Over the course of our trip, our group has analyzed our role in development in Haiti, and has critically examined what we can actually do for our community partners here. Meeting with CLM clients today was inspiring , and allowed me to stay positive when thinking about the impact I can make as an individual.
            The rest of our day was filled with more hikes to Fonkoze clients and partners such as Xafem—an organization just recently partnered with Fonkoze. We even had the opportunity to briefly visit the Partners in Health hospital in Mirebalais. The facility was beautiful, and definitely at the forefront of healthcare for Haiti. Overall, it was a hectic but rewarding day. This time in Haiti has been a difficult but necessary experience. I am so grateful I was able to come here to Haiti with such a fantastic group of women – their courage, passion, and intelligence gives me hope.




 March 16, 2014
Jen Thelus 

This trip has been an eye-opening experience. Throughout the trip one thing has always stuck out to me and made me question everything about my identity. Who am I actually and what is my purpose on this trip? I was brought up in a Haitian household… but on American soil. There is a lot of privilege that comes with that and this trip made it very apparent.
On Saturday we visited a festival that would change me. Traveling with a diverse group comprised of white Americans, I knew we would draw attention and I was prepared for the stares and “blan” remarks. I never expected to be marginalized by people who I considered my own. We were approached by two dark-skinned Haitians, one with a camera the other with a microphone. They approached Carla and asked if they could speak with us. As the only student who could speak, I was appointed to speak on behalf of the group. Reluctantly, I approached the two men. I noticed from their body language that I was not what they wanted. They wanted a white American, someone who looked like a typical “blan.” I was upset and explained to them that I was American because I had been born in the States but they said, “ no I wasn’t an American.” I then asked if they wanted a white person. The guy with the microphone waited no sooner than when I finished my last word to blurt out, “yes.” The guy with the camera was a bit hesitant and attempted to sugarcoat his answer, saying that he wanted the opinion of someone who could visibly be classified as American. So I communicated this back to the group saying they wanted someone white. There was some back and forth but by this time had been done.
My sense of identity had been destroyed. I was now destined to a life of living on the margin of the societies of Haiti and America. The color of my skin would always dictate the interactions, relationships, and obstacles that would come and go in my life. In America, I would never truly be American because of our history, even though the civil right movement was deemed successful. There are many instances of institutional racism. Racism in the U.S. many may argue is not present, but I disagree. For example, when I tell people I want to be a doctor I’m often greeted with surprise. In the U.S. racism is very much alive, it has just learned to blend into the background and become much more subtle. In Haiti, it is essentially the same and more. In Haiti, you are not only favored if your skin is lighter, but also the kind of passport you have determines your status. For example, if you have a job in Haiti as a contractor, you will get paid substantially less than if you had an American passport.
If I can never fully be accepted into a society, how am I supposed to be a tool to be used to facilitate change in any capacity? I realize that my struggle is no different, but for me it’s new. Throughout the trip we discussed the issue of “What’s next?” At first, I thought I had a concrete answer: come back to the States, advocate on behalf of Haiti, and work with our community partners to keep the relationship going strong and be in a position to build lasting relationships. I felt obligated to help “my people,” and I thought it would be well received. Now, I don’t know. I feel that to a certain extent I am no different from the U.S. as a government that flooded Haiti with military personnel designed to prevent a violence that didn’t exist.
I accept the duty of helping my country even if I’m met with resistance, I’ll just have to wade through the waters of my identity during the process.

P.S. I’m glad to have had an amazing group of supportive and inquisitive individuals.



March 17, 2014
Fito Akinrinade 

            Today I woke up in Miami. Miami is one of the richest, most beautiful cities in the United States. Spending the day in Miami worked an interesting juxtaposition to the nights I had spent in Haiti. It is not that Haiti was not beautiful, but rather that its beauty goes beyond the surface of the country.
            The entire experience was much different than I expected. Despite pre-trip training, and the little I had known about Haiti beforehand, I still was not expecting it to be as poor as it was. Haiti is poor and there is no getting around that. But for some reason I thought I could. Or rather, I thought I would not have to. There are poor cities and neighborhoods in the United States, but it is possible to avoid these places. All of the U.S. is not poor. It was almost unimaginable to see that almost all of Haiti is.
            Because of the poverty, Haiti has been disenfranchised. Global “powers” have exploited Haiti for its resources. This has caused me to question the role that I have played in this exploitation. However, fortunately, or unfortunately for me on this trip, Haitians value their identity.
            I witnessed first hand how important identity was several times. On more than one occasion, I was “harassed” for not speaking Creole. As Jen explained to me, these Haitians were upset because they thought I believed that since I spoke English, I was better than them. This absolutely was not the case, but in their eyes, I was not embracing my identity.
            This excerpt sheds light on two things. Number one, identity is important. It is what fosters the communal lifestyle that I witnessed during my story. During one of our reflections, one of the guests at the Wozo Plaza Hotel shared how she has witnessed that some of the poorest Haitian women are supported by other poor Haitian women. These women will go to their family and then take what is left to women who are considered “poorer” than them. This was powerful to me. But, in a society so dependent on relationships, everyone is a brother and a sister. They have to take care of each other because no one else will. The US certainly has not; they force Haiti to buy imported products from them. France will not; Haiti was paying them reparations until the earthquake in 2010. The UN will not; UN soldiers just “hang around” round-about or spend days at the beach (a generalization, but I witnessed both of these behaviors during my visit). If no one will fight for Haiti, Haitians fight for themselves. The fastest way for an outsider to be accepted is with one simple phrase, “bonjou.” It’s like opening a door.
            The second element that my excerpt shed light on was that Haitians hold their identity close, but as a result they misread the identities of outsiders. The story that Jen shared is just one example. In regards to me, it shows that they don’t know any better. They are not exposed to many other black people. Although I was in a group with white and even Indian students, it never crossed my mind that I could be black, American, West Indian, or Caribbean. To them, I was not black – I was Haitian. Jen was not American – she was Haitian.
            These interactions were just a few of things I experienced while on my trip. I would have to sum up the trip by saying I am confused. I am confused about the impact  (if any) that I have made. I am confused about what more can be done by groups such as us to help. What I am not confused about is the frustration that some of the people we met were feeling. Essentially, they keep seeing us, but no progress. I understand this frustration and carried this burden as my own the entire trip. I am not quite sure what to do with it yet. I am not sure what I can do with it.


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